Jeremy's 2009 Summer Movie Recap


 * "This was the best line up ever! Lineups this pretty don't happen to have Hugh Hefner. This was gonna be it. But in the end it turned out to be like a erectile dysfunction. Was slow to start, then it was really going somewhere, but then we were met with tragic and flaccid disappointments, until we felt a little gay, and we curled up in our beds and cried."
 * -Jeremy

Jeremy made this video on his old channel, Movieman191, and was disappointed by it.

Jeremy said that before Summer of 2009, he was excited for it "like a kid for Christmas". However, he was disappointed for the number of bad movies that summer, even ranting on Angels and Demons saying he forgot he experienced it and everyone forgot about it. He also said that District 9 and Inglourious Basterds (also The Hurt Locker), movies that he praised, Oscar Contenders.

In the review he also talked about directors who made movies with big budgets:
 * He praised Christopher Nolan for being able to make solid movies with big budgets
 * He said Michael Bay just needs to be kept on a tighter leash
 * He needs Uwe Boll to be exiled completely.

Movies he talked about this summer:
 * X-Men Origins: Wolverine (The R@pe of A Franchise)
 * Star Trek (F*cking Awesome)
 * Angels and Demons (Forgettable)
 * Terminator Salvation (What The F*ck?)
 * Night At The Museum: Battle of The Smithsonian (Did I Already Say Forgettable?)
 * Up (Touching)
 * Land of The Lost (Horrible)
 * The Taking of Pelham 123 (Epileptic)
 * Year One (Dumbest Shit)
 * Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen (*palms* The Death of A Franchise.)
 * Ice Age: Dawn of The Dinosaurs (3D Gimmick)
 * Public Enemies (Johnny Depp Finally Acting More Straight)
 * Bruno (Gay As Hell)
 * Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince (Read The Book)
 * G-Force (3D Gimmick)
 * G.I. Joe: Rise of The Cobra (You Watch That You Get Punched In The Face)
 * District 9 (Savior of The Summer)
 * Inglourious Basterds (Epic Tarantino!)
 * Halloween 2 (Yeah, That's Whatever.)
 * The Final Destination (Yeah, That's Whatever. With 3D Gimmick.)

Script
"*Titlecard plays* ''So this summer, Summer 2009 did it's part. To disappoint us. I mean before May I was pumped for this summer, I felt like a kid on Christmas. We had X-Men Origins: Wolverine Star Trek dominate the- Transformers: Revenge of the FALLEN. G.I. Joe was not really it. This was the best lineup ever! Lineups this pretty don't happen to have Hugh Hefner. This was gonna be it. But in the end it turned out to be like a erectile dysfunction. (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) Was slow to start, (Star Trek) then it was really going somewhere, (Terminator Salvation and Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen) but then we were met with tragic and flaccid disappointments, (Bruno) until we felt a little gay, (G.I. Joe: Rise of The Cobra) and we curled up in our beds and cried. Oh yeah. We cried *plays Wah Wah Wah Trombone Sound* I don't know man, personally this is what I heard from a friends-friends-friends' dad. You know, I don't know myself. That's *?* And there were even movies we forgot we experienced! Admit it, when you think back on the summer movies, you always forget about Angels and Demons. Ron Howard forgot about Angels and Demons. In reality the movies kept us all going were the movies that were built on 1/5th the budget of big blockbusters. District 9 and Inglourious Basterds, shit even The Hurt Locker is already getting Oscar Buzz. For now anyway because who are we kidding? It'll be sniped out of oscar play by about 6 boring ass movies released on 150 screens combined in December. One thing this summer taught us is to cut back out of the enormous fucking budgets. You don't need budgets that's monstrous. If directors are forced to use their imaginations rather than coughing up 250 million dollars on gimmicks and overpowered special effects, they might just cough up a solid movie! Now don't get me wrong. (Christopher Nolan) some directors can deliver a solid movie on a huge budget. (Michael Bay) some just needs to be kept on a tighter leash, (Uwe Boll) and some need to be exiled completely. Ultimately I got to believe that an angel goes to hell everytime there's a disappointing summer movie. Like this last one. What exactly did the summer movies bring us? In a nutshell (Don't blink now)''


 * (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) The R@pe of A Franchise
 * (Star Trek) F*cking Awesome
 * (Angels and Demons) Forgettable
 * (Terminator Salvation) What The F*ck?
 * (Night At The Museum: Battle of The Smithsonian) Did I Already Say Forgettable?
 * (Up) Touching
 * (Land of The Lost) Horrible
 * (The Taking of Pelham 123) Epileptic
 * (Year One) Dumbest Shit
 * (Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen) *palms* The Death of A Franchise.
 * (Ice Age: Dawn of The Dinosaurs) 3D Gimmick
 * (Public Enemies) Johnny Depp Finally Acting More Straight
 * (Bruno) Gay As Hell
 * (Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince) Read The Book
 * (G-Force) 3D Gimmick
 * (G.I. Joe: Rise of The Cobra) You Watch That You Get Punched In The Face
 * (District 9) Savior of The Summer
 * (Inglourious Basterds) And Epic Tarantino!
 * (Halloween 2 and The Final Destination) Yeah, That's Whatever.
 * (The Final Destination) With 3D Gimmick.

''Fuck you studios. We still do have Avatar. Cuz I'm Jeremy, AND I AIN'T FUCKING AROUND!''